This week i have my school holiday... i should be happy actually but there is a little problem...here and i need to finish it.

speaking about holiday, i have several choices for this week-end.. my friend invite me to come to Paris and go to chocolat exhibition. Other friend wants to visit me, he lives in Swiss, other friend again wants me to visit him in Cluses (near Lyon) and the last is I wanna visit him in Toulouse.... Damn.. i want to meet them all. I'll tell you next week ok....

I believe

I don't what I feel this time. I believe God just gave me another way to me to always remind me. I just wanna cry and cry but I think it is not a solve of my problem.

Feel a bit comfort after called mommy and daddy, heard their voices..:).

I always believe God never left me, I know He always with me. Whatever and Whenever God always with me. And I also believe that I can solve this problem because God will help me.

toulouse...

Bonjour....

oh la la I'm in France now. I live in Nancy and last week I just came back from my holiday in Toulouse.

I stayed with my friend, in apartment. I met him in Tagged, one sites like facebook. He is nice guy who loves girl much. He has one daughter and but he's single.. I mean already divorced. He is the 1st French man who I stayed with.

I had a great weekend with him. We watched movie together, shopped, and had dinner together. For me it was a great. But i think it was a moment. Like a song One Night Stand... it was only for a moment not only for a long..... :)

It's hard to let go of the one you truly love all those years,months,weeks,days,hours minutes, even seconds, moments that you spent with that special someone in your life that you'll never forget!

All we have left now are just memories, maybe even scars, or songs that remind us of that special someone...

But in the end we all learn the hard way, and we get hurt because that our special someone doesn't love us, well they do but as friends nothing else.. I know all of us wish we can be in a relationship with that person make them fall in love with us, and be with them but we gotta face the facts they just love us as friends.. :/

But also cheer up because we have family and friends that are always gonna be there for us no matter what happens, so cheer up!! We only have one life to live, so don't waste it!!! but if your like me waste a bit of life and then get back on track and enjoy the F**KIN RIDE!!!!

Forget HIM

Forget his name, forget his face
Forget his kiss and his warm embrace
Forget the love that once came true
Remember now there's someone new,

Forget the love that you once shared
Forget the face that had once cared
Forget the time you spent together
Remember now he's gone forever,

Forget you cried the whole night through
Forget him when they play your song
Forget how close you two once were
Remember now he's chosen her,

Forget you memorized his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the times he was mad
Remember he's happy instead of sad,

Forget his teasing, gentle ways
Forget you saw him everyday
Forget he made your dreams come true
Remember now she loves him too,

Forget the thrill when he walked by
Forget him when he made you cry
Forget the way he spoke your name
Remember now he's not the same,

Forget the way he said he loved you
Forget the way he kissed and hugged you
Forget all those nights when he held you tight
Remember now he holds her tonight,

Forget all those sunny days
Forget all those poems he made
Forget those times through good and bad
Remember he said he'd never make you sad,

Forget the games he played with you
Forget the times he stayed with you
Forget those cold, cold nights
Remember now he keeps her warm tonight,

Forget the way he looked at you
Forget you kissed the whole night through
Forget all you dreams came true
REMEMBER, that he doesn't love you.

I am Tired

i'm tired of being sad. i'm tired of crying. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. i'm tired of feeling worthless. i'm tired of feeling stuck. i'm tired of feeling crazy. i'm tired of being alone. i'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of pretending. i'm tired of dreaming of a life i will never have. i'm tired of missing things. i'm tired of missing people. i'm tired of remembering. i'm tired of wishing i could start all over. i'm tired of not being able to just let go. i'm tired of faking it. i'm tired of being angry. i'm tired of needing help. i'm tired of always wondering when God is finally going to let me be happy. most of all, i'm just tired of being tired.

only a moment

Wow… it has been long time since my previous post. A bit busy with my daily and my schoolwork, but happily everything has finished… so I can have a little time to have fun before I start with my next plan.

Hmmm… I met new person at my campus. He is younger than me (of course he was born in 1988 and I was born in 1986). For me he is like my young brother but for friendship I think I do not have to look how old you are or look out the physics. He is nice person, easy going, and I had a good time to chat with him. After that we had fun even only for a couple of hours... :) shit…. It was a good moment (the first time had dated with someone younger than me). Then I went back to home, called him for minutes and that is it… done.

I met him again yesterday at campus but…. We didn’t say nothing, even our eyes met each other… :D.. DAMN… WHAT A BRAINLESS DATE!!

Nevertheless, definitely he is not my type because he is too young, still likes to hang out with friends, and does not have the emphases in his life. However, yeah he gave a color in my life.

I want another man in my life… yeah... HIM… I want him. He has already given many changes in my life; I need to say thanks to him. He came when I needed someone, when my heart was broken. He gave another vision in my life. Let me ask Allah… for the best… but certainly I want HIM.

EX LOVE

I have never conscious of this feeling. I decided to shun from him but I do not why I am still thinking about him. I am sure this is not good feeling, it is only bad feeling akin to fury or animosity. I always said, “That woman is not in my point, so there is no reason to vie and gain the brainless man’s love”. Sounds really conceited... :)

FYI, the man that I intention is my EX (the stupid guy who swindled with other girl, I mean his friend at his office). Afterward, I decided not to remember him because I know and I consider that he is not just into me. Both of them are not in my level.

The recent past, I heard a song (Mikha Tambayong’s Song) the title is “Bekas Pacar” and Britney Spears (She will Never Be Me). Yeah, that song I dedicated for her and the Krisdayanti’s Song (I am Sorry Goodbye) I dedicated for him. Enjoy the songs please….

At this moment, I already have someone new. New episode in my life with new person and with new experience.

I will be Right Here Waiting for you

I do not know what it is about you that make me feel the way I do. No other person can touch my heart, but you can see through to the depths of my very soul. I care about you more than I ever knew I could care about anyone before. You see, I never thought I could love again, but now I am so confused. My heart says, "Yes”, but my head says, "no”. You wonder why I care about you, but it is simple: when I look into your eyes, I see beyond all the hostility on the outside. I see a real person with real needs, the one you are afraid to be. However, that is okay, because I know the truth, and I will wait for the day when you will open the gate and let me in. Even if it takes years, I will be right here, waiting for you to let me love you, as I already love you now.

Why GAZA?

Once again Israel makes us have to say terrible thing about that country. I am so wretched to hear and watched the news. I do not want to have a discussion about religion but I just want to ask, do you believe in God? Alternatively, do you have a God? Nevertheless, I think you do not believe in God or even you have never ever had God in your life. Even the atheists, I think they will not do like you have done it.

Before this tragedy happened, I have my own opinion about the country I mean because I like to learn new thing (I love to learn about Jewish, I want to know what does make the Jewish people are intelligent? In addition, about the culture). However, after this catastrophe I think I will stop to have my opinion about the country. I only have one opinion regarding to this country; The Israel President is not more than a Dajjal (The King of the evil) as you said that what your army did was a correct thing.

There is one thing to made me feel disappoint with the Israel’s Army; Why there is still a racialism? What is incorrect of being Indonesian people? Do you think you are God? You cannot judge people by the race! Every human is similar in front of the God.

Wish Allah SWT give strength for all of people in GAZA; keep fight for something better for your country. May ALLAH SWT bless you all.

A tolerance?

Another story about tolerance. Yesterday, I went to Salemba and I took the Trans Jakarta because I thought it was cheaper than I took the standard bus and also thought about effectiveness. If I took the standard bus, how long I would spend in the road, then traffic jam and of course I needed to spend more cash. Therefore, I decided to took the Trans Jakarta because the terminal is near from my house (I mean not closely near but I still can reach with a public transportation from my house).

The bus was very long time afterward the bus came. The bus situation is crammed full (not too crammed full) even there was some people had to stand up include me. Because I started from Kebon Jeruk terminal, I had to stop in Grogol terminal after that change the other bus to go to Harmoni next change another bus to Senen terminal afterward took other bus to Salemba… Wew very long journey… but that was not the problem.

When I was in the Trans Jakarta, there were many people; students, workers, man, woman, young, old and even kids. I was a bit upset when I saw there were two old women with their kids and picked back their kids. I looked at my surrounding there was no one wants to give their seat to those women. OMG… where is your tolerance? Do not you have pity on them? I decided to up from my seat then gave my seat to one of them.

I simply confuse, why there is no one has a tolerance with other people. Indonesian is famous because of the kindness, have a respect each other. Now, I think democracy and globalization have made the Indonesian people being terrible individual, only think about themselves, and never cared about other people around them. You are not in America, Europe, or other nation you live in Indonesia. Therefore, why do you have to act like that? Do you think you are good? I do not think. I am not a kind person but I always try for being a nice person for everyone wherever I am. because as I know being a nice person it is not easy.

my feeling about you

You came into my life without any feeling, simply for being a friend. You came at the right time, gave me a new light and shining my shady days. First time we met, I never had any feeling on you only a friend as I said before. You are nice person and you are smart those reasons made me want to being your companion. Day by day my feeling has change, feel a bit different. I always cheerful to meet you, feel comfort when I am with you or smiling when I received and read your message in my phone… J But still, I do not want to have any hope for this relation, only friend… not more than that.

We are not young anymore, therefore lets we act in our age. Bottomless in my heart I keep an extra feeling for you. Je vous aime jusqu’a maintenant.

Hermes bag with snake skin

I love Hermes Birkin Bag. I do not why this bag price is fuckin’ expensive may be the most expensive bag for me. Wish there is someone wants to buy it for me… LOL… no, it just a joke. I do not want spend my money only for that bag; I can spend for another things.

A month ago, my dearest person asked me to order the imitation for the Hermes Birkin Bag at my unusual lovely shop. Why I called an unusual shop because this shop only sale for bag, purse, clutch bag, shoes, sandals, and so on, where is the material uses are from snake skin and lizard skin. I prefer Lizard skin to snake skin because it is more look good than the snake. However, for some people who like the snake skin its fine, the snake skin is also excellent. This shop has varied of colors, so do not worry you will find a great color.

Back to my order. For one Hermes Birkin Bag, the price is IDR 2.000.000. Therefore, I ordered it for my dearest and a week ago I ordered Jimmy Choo bag and Guess shoes. I will attach here if it has done it. I already have three pairs of shoes and wedges from snake skin. They are lovely.

I always pleased to spend my time in this shop, may be because I like snake skin…LOL…… a little suggest for you, if you want to order shoes and bag, better order with the same color. It will be look more luxurious.

Are you interest to order???

My Lolita

My daddy bought this novel, at that time I didn't know what novel it is. I just read the synopsis at the back. It told about Mr. Humbert(Old Man) who had fell in Love with Lolita (very young girl , may be teenager). Then after my dad finished read this novel, I borrow it from him to read.
First time, it made me confuse, didn't know what kind of story it is. I just kept reading until i found something interest in this novel. Yes, the character; the Humbert's character and of course the Lolita's character. Both of them have their own character and its very strong character. I like the story background too, France. My dream country.

Anyway, more than two thumbs up for Mr. Vladimir Nabokov, who created this greatest novel. Nabokov told the plot in the good way. I wish to watch the movie, but it's not easy to find that movie.

And thanks to my dearest Lin, who had told me the greatest novel with the greatest novelist in the world.

Any idea, where I can get or buy that movie???