This week i have my school holiday... i should be happy actually but there is a little problem...here and i need to finish it.

speaking about holiday, i have several choices for this week-end.. my friend invite me to come to Paris and go to chocolat exhibition. Other friend wants to visit me, he lives in Swiss, other friend again wants me to visit him in Cluses (near Lyon) and the last is I wanna visit him in Toulouse.... Damn.. i want to meet them all. I'll tell you next week ok....

I believe

I don't what I feel this time. I believe God just gave me another way to me to always remind me. I just wanna cry and cry but I think it is not a solve of my problem.

Feel a bit comfort after called mommy and daddy, heard their voices..:).

I always believe God never left me, I know He always with me. Whatever and Whenever God always with me. And I also believe that I can solve this problem because God will help me.

toulouse...

Bonjour....

oh la la I'm in France now. I live in Nancy and last week I just came back from my holiday in Toulouse.

I stayed with my friend, in apartment. I met him in Tagged, one sites like facebook. He is nice guy who loves girl much. He has one daughter and but he's single.. I mean already divorced. He is the 1st French man who I stayed with.

I had a great weekend with him. We watched movie together, shopped, and had dinner together. For me it was a great. But i think it was a moment. Like a song One Night Stand... it was only for a moment not only for a long..... :)

It's hard to let go of the one you truly love all those years,months,weeks,days,hours minutes, even seconds, moments that you spent with that special someone in your life that you'll never forget!

All we have left now are just memories, maybe even scars, or songs that remind us of that special someone...

But in the end we all learn the hard way, and we get hurt because that our special someone doesn't love us, well they do but as friends nothing else.. I know all of us wish we can be in a relationship with that person make them fall in love with us, and be with them but we gotta face the facts they just love us as friends.. :/

But also cheer up because we have family and friends that are always gonna be there for us no matter what happens, so cheer up!! We only have one life to live, so don't waste it!!! but if your like me waste a bit of life and then get back on track and enjoy the F**KIN RIDE!!!!

Forget HIM

Forget his name, forget his face
Forget his kiss and his warm embrace
Forget the love that once came true
Remember now there's someone new,

Forget the love that you once shared
Forget the face that had once cared
Forget the time you spent together
Remember now he's gone forever,

Forget you cried the whole night through
Forget him when they play your song
Forget how close you two once were
Remember now he's chosen her,

Forget you memorized his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the times he was mad
Remember he's happy instead of sad,

Forget his teasing, gentle ways
Forget you saw him everyday
Forget he made your dreams come true
Remember now she loves him too,

Forget the thrill when he walked by
Forget him when he made you cry
Forget the way he spoke your name
Remember now he's not the same,

Forget the way he said he loved you
Forget the way he kissed and hugged you
Forget all those nights when he held you tight
Remember now he holds her tonight,

Forget all those sunny days
Forget all those poems he made
Forget those times through good and bad
Remember he said he'd never make you sad,

Forget the games he played with you
Forget the times he stayed with you
Forget those cold, cold nights
Remember now he keeps her warm tonight,

Forget the way he looked at you
Forget you kissed the whole night through
Forget all you dreams came true
REMEMBER, that he doesn't love you.

I am Tired

i'm tired of being sad. i'm tired of crying. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. i'm tired of feeling worthless. i'm tired of feeling stuck. i'm tired of feeling crazy. i'm tired of being alone. i'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of pretending. i'm tired of dreaming of a life i will never have. i'm tired of missing things. i'm tired of missing people. i'm tired of remembering. i'm tired of wishing i could start all over. i'm tired of not being able to just let go. i'm tired of faking it. i'm tired of being angry. i'm tired of needing help. i'm tired of always wondering when God is finally going to let me be happy. most of all, i'm just tired of being tired.

only a moment

Wow… it has been long time since my previous post. A bit busy with my daily and my schoolwork, but happily everything has finished… so I can have a little time to have fun before I start with my next plan.

Hmmm… I met new person at my campus. He is younger than me (of course he was born in 1988 and I was born in 1986). For me he is like my young brother but for friendship I think I do not have to look how old you are or look out the physics. He is nice person, easy going, and I had a good time to chat with him. After that we had fun even only for a couple of hours... :) shit…. It was a good moment (the first time had dated with someone younger than me). Then I went back to home, called him for minutes and that is it… done.

I met him again yesterday at campus but…. We didn’t say nothing, even our eyes met each other… :D.. DAMN… WHAT A BRAINLESS DATE!!

Nevertheless, definitely he is not my type because he is too young, still likes to hang out with friends, and does not have the emphases in his life. However, yeah he gave a color in my life.

I want another man in my life… yeah... HIM… I want him. He has already given many changes in my life; I need to say thanks to him. He came when I needed someone, when my heart was broken. He gave another vision in my life. Let me ask Allah… for the best… but certainly I want HIM.